i just found out about a career fair going on tomorrow in d.c., and i'm planning to go. the thought of it is enough to make me nausous. schmoozing, selling myself, engaging in superficial but potentially life-altering conversations with strangers ... this isn't me. i don't believe in people getting to know me on a first impression. i like the idea of forcing people to take time and effort to get to know me. but, in this crazy city, i'm starting to realize that that's the way to never get a job.

i mentioned the fair to my supervisor, whose primary schmooze tactic is intimidation, and she asked, "who's running it?" "Idealist.org," i answered, to which she literally burst out laughing. a belly laugh. then she compared it to an online dating service for liberal singles. i let her in on my nervousness, and she said, "well, you just gotta drink your power juice before hand and tell yourself you're not going to be julie for the next couple of hours. then afterwards you can go hide in the bathroom."

despite the mortifyingness of this comment, and the fact that she was referencing something that actually happened during one of my first days at the aft*, i eventually realized that she's probably right. just stop being julie for a while. you don't have to be a sphynx all the time. stop internally journaling every experience. get out of your own head. get into others'. control the situation. be a man. be an american. it's your patriotic duty to sell.

so yeah. we'll see what happens ... i'll let you know.



*ok, here's the story: my first few days here, the aft was having a convention for their national staff. a great way to get to know the organization - i learned a ton about the aft and about unions in general that week. but apparently not enough, because at the very end of the conference, the person leading it got up and said, now we will all stand up, join hands, and sing 'solidarity forever.' not knowing the words, and not feeling particuarly awash with union spirit, i decided to duck out to the bathroom. then, throughout the day, people kept coming up to me and saying, "i saw you duck out before we started singing ..." and that was my first huge faux pas at the union.